Saturday 9 April 2011

Narrative interlude.

World Bank and HBS publish startling research findings.

World Bank President Robert B Zoellick today announced the results of a startling piece of research carried out by Harvard Business School. Initially the research coordinated by Professor Lard Von Uberwinkle was aimed at examining pricing differentials between mainland Thailand and its islands. The scope of this research soon proved to be much wider than first anticipated as bright young research student Damian Clout of Bearsville Kentucky would discover. Clout commented, "I have always taken an active interest in Prof. Von Uberwinckle's research projects, but its was only when I attended a preliminary paper on the initial research findings that I saw the correlation with my own work." Clout, whose PhD focus' on the exorbitant price hikes at UK service stations, went on to say that price increases expressed as percentages at UK service stations tallied almost exactly with those between mainland Thailand and its islands. For example chip barncakes at UK service stations rose on average by 15.2% while on Thai islands the figure was 15.5%, chicken nuggets and chips by 17.3% compared to 17.4% and an Early Bird full English breakfast including toast, juice and a choice of tea or coffee climbed by a staggering 32.9% compared to 33%. Prof. Von Uberwinkle joked that it doesn't require a PhD in Applied Economics to comprehend the significance of these results. The report, now available from Harvard University Press, concluded that participants in gross economic fraud of this magnitude should be publicly shamed, recommending that they be made to apologies whilst being force fed dog shit, naked in front of their own children whilst having the whole sorry scene broadcast on BBC world news.

(Source: Washington Post 03.04.2011.)



Nutritious Thai salad, its all the rage!

Its that time of year again when modern wives all around the UK decide to starve themselves in an effort to turn back the clock and reverse the somatic trauma of child birth, all to keep hubby happy. Now remember girls there's an easier and healthier way to go than all out bulimia. That's right, by following our daily salad recipes! No doubt your man is working all the hours God sends to put Jessica and Jemima through boarding school so they can have the same opportunity as you to end up in a loveless husk of a marriage devoid of contact. So why not treat and impress hubby with this delicious Thai mushroom salad?

Ingredients:
Peppery salad leaf of your choice
Mushrooms (preferably shiitake)
Mint leaf (bruised)
Chile (rough chopped)
Prawn paste
Coriander
Cashew nuts
Crushed garlic
Olive Oil
Seasoning.

Best served for hubby on a business trip to Bangkok with refreshing melon juice and soda and a prostitute.

(Source: Modern Wife Magazine 21.03.2011.)

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